What is Femininity? How Can I Be Feminine?

This blog’s purpose is to try to steer modern girls and women back to femininity and to show men what to look for when searching for a traditionally feminine woman, but my first post didn’t actually define femininity.

I prefer Helen Andelin’s (author of Fascinating Womanhood) definition of the feminine nature, with its characteristics laid out by Andelin as follows:

1 . Weakness, Softness
2 . Submissiveness
3 . Dependence
4 . Tenderness
5 . Fearfulness
6 . Sweet Promise

The list is short enough to remember fairly easily, but encompasses what femininity is so well I had to share. I’ll discuss the components of the list in greater detail down below.

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The feminine woman is truly happy in her relationships with men

Weakness, Softness- Andelin doesn’t mean helplessness when referring to weakness. This weakness is more vulnerability. It is letting go of the “strong, independent woman” persona and letting men help you and, when in a relationship, care for you. Meanwhile, softness is letting go of the bitchy, prickly parts of your personality that are designed for the office or to turn men you don’t want approaching you off. I know many women think they can turn those parts of their personality on and off, but this is never the case. That bitchy personality will, if it hasn’t already, bleed into all areas of your life until you become, in all areas, a frigid bitch. So, let yourself be open, smile, try to be more pleasant to be around. You’ll find men respond to you so much better.

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The soft, pleasant girl attracts more men than “strong, independent” women

Submissiveness- This word alone riles many women up. The idea of submitting to men seems like a form of slavery to modern women, but submission isn’t being a doormat or a slave to your man. Submission is letting your man lead and being his support only when he needs you. He is the captain of the relationship, making major choices and referring to you, his first mate, when he believes your input is needed. My boyfriend of one and a half years, for example, makes most of the major decisions in our relationship. He’s not a tyrant, and we do discuss these decisions in depth, but I trust him to make the right choice and leave he ultimate decision up to him. Submission, in short, is letting go and trusting your partner, something most women have trouble doing.

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Letting go and trusting your man is one of the best things you can do in a relationship

Dependence-This somewhat ties into the first two. Dependence is part of the trust you give your man to take care of you. You allow yourself to not be completely independent and know you don’t have to stand alone all the time. Now, just like you don’t submit to every man, you shouldn’t depend on every you meet. Outside of a relationship, dependence means allowing men to be “chivalrous,” to open doors for you, carry heavy things, help you with technical tasks,etc. It is another method of letting go of trying to be an independent woman who stands alone at all times. It is letting go of being the average, unhappy modern woman.

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Don’t browbeat men for being chivalrous!

Tenderness-How many times have you hidden your true emotions, refusing to cry in a sad movie or stifling the urge to gush at a cute baby? To be honest most girls my age only let themselves coo over animals and show little sympathy for the suffering of others. I see plenty of anger from SJW’s and feminists, but no sympathy or empathy. I remember when I was walking through the park with my boyfriend when we first started dating, and we came upon a surprise engagement. He told me later that seeing my face, happy almost to tears at the beautiful candlelit scene, made him truly fall in love with me. Men don’t want a hardened, dry woman. They want a soft, emotional woman.

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Let yourself be emotional and bubbly.

Fearfulness-If you are in a relationship, let your boyfriend be your hero. Though having grown up in the south and being used to snakes, most bugs, and other creatures, I am deathly afraid of wasps. Do I pretend not to be? Of course not. I let my boyfriend kill any wasps that enter my room and gush over how brave he was after he disposes of them. Might it be a little overkill? Maybe, but he gets a big grin on his face every time it happens. In today’s modern world, men don’t often get the chance to be heroes. They are beaten down by feminists and SJW’s for trying to help women. Letting a man help you in a small moment of fear is a great way to build him up and make him more attracted to you. Damsel in distress isn’t a popular trope for nothing.

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Allow men to be your hero

Sweet Promise-Andelin describes this final characteristic as the balance of the other characteristics. The Sweet promise is the hints you drop that you aren’t entirely helpless. It is the backbone that supports you despite all your feminine softness. This isn’t the hard exterior of the man who has faced many troubles, but the steady, loving, faithful essence of the woman who has faced much hardship but has kept a noble character, who refused to become bitter and hard in the face of adversity.

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Femininity doesn’t mean complete helplessness.

So, femininity isn’t complete helplessness, as many feminists today would have you believe. It is a balance between being soft and hard, with one’s softness being the standout. With masculinity, it is the opposite, and women today are becoming more and more masculine, hardened by rejecting their femininity and trying to be men. This is the lesson this blog seeks to teach: those who try to reject their femininity can never truly be happy, and those who embrace it find their true place in life.

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A happy, rested, feminine woman!

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